Many of you young whippersnappers have gone from reading spanking stories to dipping your toes into a spanking relationship this year. First of all, congratulations! It’s scary to hand over control to someone else even when it’s a lovely person that you enjoy being with. But I could bet that not everything has gone perfectly smooth, has it?
When it comes down to it, we’re simply people with similar interests. While one person wants to enjoy fun light-hearted spankings, another wants spanking as a way of achieving her goals in life. Neither of these is any better or worse than another, it’s just a preference.
Maybe you’ve found a great spanking partner but you can’t seem to quit making mistakes that earn you punishment spankings. Quite possibly, you feel compelled to screw up sometimes just to see what happens. Again, this isn’t a terrible thing. I believe it’s quite common for a Brat to push her Top when they first move into a spanking relationship. You simply want to know that the consistency and accountability you crave is gonna be there for you. As a new Top, it can be overwhelming to have a Brat continue to push your buttons over so many things, particularly if you are new at topping in general.
Tigger and I laugh about it now, but I literally had to ask an experienced Top for help when I first began topping Tigger. She was really frustrated and anxious before she ever asked for help. Coupled with all of it being new to me and a long distance relationship, I felt about as effective as a mosquito bite for helping Tigger attain the calm she needed. I actually began maintaining a list of punishments she was in the midst of to ensure I kept track of everything.
Looking back it’s funny but at the time I didn’t know that taking away her Kindle was the equivalent of a nuclear bomb while no TV was no problem as she rarely turned it on anyway. Spankings were frequent but I didn’t understand the duration or intensity that was appropriate for her. I found out later that she was asking another Top how to entice me to more intense punishment sessions.
I just want you all to know that it’s not supposed to be perfect whether it’s a new relationship or an established one. So don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake. This is just another reason why we always preach communicating with each other. The Brat needs to help the Top understand what she needs. Sure, it may be embarrassing but just remember that the Top is trying to do what works for you. Since she isn’t a mind reader, she is looking for what works. Help her out by simply talking to her. Now I suggest that you talk at a time other than when you’re across her lap. That’s a quick way to hear “you’re topping from the bottom.”
The Top needs to be receptive to the Brat expressing her needs. And she should also be honest in explaining to the Brat if she is feeling overwhelmed. Whether friends or lovers, the spanking is just a PART of your relationship. Both of you want to be good to each other so keep that in mind when you’re talking about sensitive things.
Last but not least, relax, and enjoy each other. You’re all special women and deserve to be happy. Don’t worry about perfection and just enjoy the ride. It’s the ride that is worthwhile anyway.