And Now – Ms. Jillian Keenan

Thank you all for your patience these last couple of weeks.  Real life got in the way as it often does for us all.  But Hurray! Jillian Keenan has answered our questions.  Please know that several questions were similar enough that I may have grouped them together.  So if your question wasn’t handled in a way that you expected, just know that I tried my best and Jillian never saw anything except my doctored list of questions.

So……..here you go.  Enjoy!

Anna

Interview 

1. Please list the books, articles, videos, podcasts, and any other public media items you’ve done. I’m sure any readers or lurkers would love to have a list of your works.
a. Items related to the spanking fetish.
b. Items related to other topics.
c. What are you currently working on and when do you think it may be available?
d. Is there an author that you like to read? Either spanking related or not.

My first book, Sex with Shakespeare, is available at: https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Shakespeare-Heres-Much-Pain/dp/0062378716/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=. There are also audiobook and Kindle versions of the book available for people who prefer those formats!

Some examples of my journalism work are available on my website, http://www.jillian-keenan.com, and my new YouTube channel is at http://www.YouTube.com/JillianKeenanSaysHi.

And, of course, I am extraordinarily grateful to friends who generously choose to support my work at http://www.Patreon.com/JillianKeenan.

2. The Fetish Itself

a. What is your favorite implement? What is a hard limit for you?
I have a love-hate relationship with hairbrushes. They make me squirm like crazy, but they also reach a very primal, visceral part of my fetish.
I have an odd phobia of anyone hurting my toes, so any kind of pain or impact play involving my feet would probably be a hard limit. No bastinado for me!

b. Do you only enjoy getting spanked, or, if you have, have you ever enjoyed spanking someone?
I think it’d be fair to call me a “service switch” – I usually bottom, but I’m happy and eager to switch in the service of my friends. If I’m at a party and I see that someone really wants to play but isn’t getting many opportunities to, I want to make that happen!

c. Many (but not all) of the women here prefer to be in a spanking relationship with another woman. This can be the case for both gay and straight women on the blog. Do you have any experience with that?
I do! One of my all-time favorite tops is a woman.

d. Do you personally think the spanking fetish is in our DNA or a result of our life experiences? Any thoughts on how someone never spanked as a child can have a spanking fetish? Do you think it’s more prevalent in women than men?                             My fetish is my sexual orientation: innate, unchosen, and lifelong. It is absolutely not the result of childhood trauma. My dom, for instance, was never spanked as a child (or even threatened with a spanking), but his fetish is every bit as fundamental as my own.

e. Do you think knowledge of the fetish is better received if the couple is heterosexual vs two women? Would your answer be contingent on the culture in which they live?           In my experience, people do seem to be slightly more comfortable with the idea of female tops, both when those women have female submissives and when they have male submissives. Dominant women are often perceived as either funny or sexy, whereas dominant men in heterosexual relationships are often perceived as either abusive or mentally disturbed — think Christian Grey. Women who bottom to men can also sometimes face accusations of internalized sexism that aren’t always hurled as often at women who bottom to other women. That being said, I don’t want to minimize the stigma that women who are in D/s relationships with other women often face: being reduced to tropes like “funny” or “sexy” can feel really dehumanizing.

f. In your opinion, what makes a great spanking story?
My favorite spanking stories tend to involve two unrelated men who have a non-sexual, mentor-type relationship. As I wrote in my book, I came of age on stories about Qui-Gon Jinn disciplining Obi-Wan Kenobi. I’m still pretty embarrassed to admit that!

g. Can you describe some of the more restrictive cultures where you have lived and how you dealt with your spanking fetish?                                                                                           I’ve lived in a few places, like Oman, where access to erotic content online was severely restricted. I’ve also lived in places that don’t have very big spanking communities. I deal with it the way most spankos do: by indulging in internal fantasies and by connecting with friends online.
3. Your writings:

a. Were you always a “spanking” writer, or did you start out in more general journalism/editorializing? If it was something you transitioned into, did you have professional/personal concerns about being “out” as a fetishist?
I started out in more general journalism, but my first really “big” piece was an essay about spanking for the New York Times. I had, and still have, many personal and professional concerns about being out as a fetishist, and I have suffered many consequences of being so public.

b. “Was there any one thing or event in your life that helped you decide to go public about your fetish?”
There was no one event that pushed me to go public – it was more like a dam finally burst.

c. Are there ever days you second guess yourself about this decision?
Every single day. As I said, the consequences of this decision have been significant.

d. Do you have recommendations or strategies you could share for being open about the lifestyle without putting people you associate with at risk professionally?
I really don’t – I think this is the kind of thing that individuals need to navigate for themselves. Everyone’s personal and professional situation is different.

e. The women here have often discussed the feelings of embarrassment we feel about our fetish. The idea of making it public is scary beyond belief. Did you have trepidation over making it public? Can you describe your feelings before it was published? How did you feel afterwards?
I was terrified. In many ways, I still am.

f. What was it like to open up so publicly? How did people take to it? Were you still respected in the same way, regardless of your kink? Did you care what people think? Have you had negative experiences because of public knowledge of your fetish?
I have had many negative experiences, and it’s impossible to not sometimes wonder what my life would be like today if I had made different choices. But I also get letters every week from people around the world who tell me that my work helped them – in some cases, that my work saved their lives. That is an extraordinary blessing, and I’m grateful for it every day. Ultimately, it’s not the effect of my work on my own life that matters: it’s the effect of my work on the lives of others.

g. “How did your disclosures about your kink effect your career as a serious writer and journalist who has often written about subjects unrelated to TTWD?”
For the most part, I have been delighted to discover that the two sides of my career can co-exist fairly well. It would be a lie to say that there haven’t been a few professional challenges, but for the most part it’s been okay.

h. I am amazed at your creativity in writing Sex with Shakespeare. Your depth of knowledge and understanding of his works is impressive and it’s obvious that you have a deep love of his works. Did Shakespeare’s characters give you the support and introspection that was portrayed so well in the book? I will never think of Demetrius’ and Helena’s relationship in the same way again.
Thank you! Shakespeare remains, as I note at the end of the book, the great love of my life.

4. Dan Savage says about you book Sex with Shakespeare:
“Calling this book brave is an understatement. We often talk about other people’s kinks, but rarely does someone open up about their own kinks—and really own their kinks—as fearlessly as Jillian Keenan does in her moving and funny memoir.”
As a writer of spanking fiction I struggle with this. I’m very proud of my books and I’d love to shout from the roof tops that I’m a writer of two published novels but I struggle with owning the genre. Does this just make me a coward? How did you navigate this and what advice can you give authors of this genre that are basically closeted themselves?
It’s hard for me to give advice to people who are struggling with how open to be when I don’t know their individual circumstances. Being in the closet certainly doesn’t make anyone a “coward,” but refusing to acknowledge the active role we all play in our own lives and choices does.

5. For a single person in the dating world, would you say letting them know about your spanking fetish is something to tell them right away or should you get to know them better before mentioning anything? I mean, how do you even bring that up? Assuming you don’t know if they are in to it or not.
I think it’s incredibly important to let potential partners know about a fetish as soon as possible, and to push back at people who minimize its importance. Having a spanking fetish is a really big deal, and I’ve seen a lot of relationships fail because the couple was unwilling or unable to confront the situation head-on. It’s a cliché, but honesty really is the best policy.

6. What is the best way to open up a conversation with a longime vanilla partner about this overwhelming need and how to incorporate it into a relationship if it wasn’t there at the beginning?
I intend to make a video about this very subject! So please keep an eye on my YouTube channel for more. 

7. Would you have a problem if I take some of the things you brought up as a way to prompt discussion on the blog? What I’m asking is, can I take a quote from your book and then talk about it as a way to prompt discussion?                                                            You can absolutely use quotes from my book to prompt discussion! In fact, I’d be honored.